A Nots track each is like a different commuter train in some developing country that gets so packed and heavy for its dangerous trip that you gotta ride on top of it. And then it takes off, and either you hold and stay or not. This was a train that I caught but could not stay long on. I had no money left for any merch, so I had to let this one go and get it when they come back.
So much changes that single years have the nostalgic weight of whole decades. It was 2013 when I saw Wax Idols last. Hether Fortune was married I believe. Its 2015 just after seeing them the Tuesday before Halloween. A wide gap of everything changing in between. My nieces and nephew grew. 2015 and its a different Hether Fortune. She's divorced. There is a whole lot of backstory that acts like a movie trailer. It influences and shapes your thoughts on a performer before stepping into the venue. I was pre-sold by 2013. Last year I chose to buy the shirt for Discipline And Desire at her Empty Bottle show 2013 April 20 instead of the CD. I figured I can buy that later. I still haven't. I want to of course. Always so broke. And so I am far less familiar with it. I notice other reviewers referring to D &D all the time. Its interesting now to write about the newest and this relative void regarding those past records, at least for me. I will not refer back to them. This time I let the shirts go....and instead I bought the CD for American Tragic. The shirts were awesome....and they were black this time! I wanted to be close this time.
I walk into the Bottle well in time to see Them Are Us Too, and they were fucking crazy awesome. I wanna see them again! This was my first time seeing them and I believe, they have been here before my friend Aimee said. When it was them....it was them! Its one of those nights that have the impact of multiple events. I will find it incredible that I was able to see these two bands together. I was sad that I had no money left to buy their music, but it is something for later, but as soon as possible. Its a powerful imprint that first time, in part because for a while it will have to be the only time. You don't want your memory to be the only thing to hold the hmm ......memory together. 
And so I came home with American Tragic. You can't help but see her doomed marriage and divorce as background. And her as a survivor of it. And Depression.... when it lands its strikes, but Hether has learned to ground-fight. Pounds her way back up, and fights her way out. Some lyric fragments jump out in front of you as if seeking to be the substance behind the headline. I'm Not Going is just like that. Every line is like my favorite fucking line. Deborah is the new Shadow Play. I don't know if this was a deliberate thing. These two songs being in the middle, because they are deepest of the sad. The sad-dance bottom. When a goth bounces back, its a fucking sight. As indeed we take flight with Seraph. In interviews Hether is open about her struggles with depression. Tragic is an open-veins, defiant slugfest. Its an underdog's soundtrack. Reading the interviews made me salivate the album! Some may argue that indeed they shaped rather than confirm an opinion. I imagine these are the tracks that imprinted live. The memory turns ever more surreal, German Expressionist.
Very few people besides Hether had a hand in working on the 9 track album. I believe she played most of the instruments of the recording except for the drums. So its interesting to ponder how personal a creation this was. In part it reflects in crystalline form what she had to survive and continues to fight. And that is also no secret. Hether's other job is being a professional dominatrix. So thats why to me its notable and amazing how open-veins vulnerable she is willing to be. Depression doesn't leave you alone just because you are on tour performing in front a crowd you know you got by the balls. Depression can drop the value of that like Mexican pesos to the U.S. dollar. Hether is really open about her experience with depression. Reading the interviews, some months before the show and after influenced I suppose how I would see Hether perform. In essence I became her fan all over again.
No way was I going to miss this. The Whistler is tiny all the time, right? Some bands are loud like ..."really Whistler?.....ok!"....and that makes it even more hells yeah. A tiny place is gonna make it more explosive and imposing. You can sit at the fucking table just below the stage. Beat Drun Juel will sound like they are right on top if you're on acid. Right fucking there. Oh you.... don't... like..... acid. T'is the metaphorical kind. Perfectly safe....still no? More for me then.....still you object? Even my metaphors have to be straight-edge? Bloody hell! I remember Venus from Moritat at this show. I'm trying to put Kon there as well because I recall chilling with him outside and around the corner from Whistler talking about Moritat's tour in New York. This moment would have been just after the BDJ set. I know I saw them as soon as I walked in. It was through them that I even know of Beat Drun Juel. Using flash seemed loud and intrusive. That's why the pictures came out the way they did. 
I'm getting more familiar with their music.....now that I can listen to it from the car. Thank You Donna!! After the show she gave me the vinyl with the download code. That was beyond awesome of her and I am eternally grateful. I can't get enough of Satisfy. It's so Nick Cave! Abrasive, aggressive....and for me bluesy, about as pronounced as in PJ Harvey. And there I go putting them together, Beat Drun Juel and PJ. But its for a fucking reason. Donna says everything with dominant authority, like she's a fucking branding iron. Every song has its own set of balls. And then there's how she plays guitar. She is a brilliant guitarist. Her skills seem older than Donna. She is young, but she is an old guitarist. If that makes sense....it will circle back.
Don't ask me how but I find CdY sounding.....colorful and vivid with dangerous dark landscapes that if urban, not entirely tame, still dangerous. Rural, but not that safe sweet country. Urban, not in the big city sense but on a smaller midwestern scale. Her music is a flashlight of wonder into the darkening weirdness. Haley's comes from familiar places not completely otherworldly but she makes them that way. With Acarina I finally have the perfect soundtrack to my grandparents hyper local Grim style Mexican ghost stories. Its no effort to imagine Clint Eastwood loading a gun and rolling a cigarette to this as well. That track for me is eerie and haunting as it is minimal, this is easily Circuit des Yeux's Raw Head And
I say chamber music because I find CdY has that kind of classical chamber music intensity. . She just brings this raw, unfiltered seething engine behind everything. Her ambient is more tense than the stillest of dark waters. And that tension burns and explodes and resonates for a reason. Hell, for many fucking reasons. She is resonant but you never see that impression coming.
They are touring for the new release In Plain Speech. Do The Dishes is so dramatic. It simmers and builds up to its most sacred moment. They have a video for it. They cut the wick even shorter for Ride Blind. The drums give it this special urgency. This is the song that makes me think of classical chamber music. Her singing voice is so deep and full. Its like with Katie Jane Garside from Queen Adreena only the reverse. Katie Jane's singing voice is almost girl-like. Its her speaking voice that is deep and womanly. Haley's singing voice is what is deep, womanly. Its a voice that hmm, sounds wise, clear and mature. You're gonna listen to whatever she has to say like its Morgan Freeman, magnanimous. She has spoken about how deep her voice has reached in interviews. If she was an opera singer, they would have her play Lady McBeth. Well.....I think they would categorize her voice as contralto. Seriously they would have cast her to play villains exclusively. Even in that world she would be seen as rare and precious. Fine....precious was my word. I have been a fan of hers for a good long time it feels like. I go on about her a lot and yet I know I could not sell her music to everyone even as I am completely sold on her. Her shows are so unique from each other. Do not expect for her live work to sound exactly like what's recorded. That for me is a feature, because for me it means the tracks are like books with new chapters to read that I did not know of and here is Haley for a new staged reading. As of late I have seen her play from a 12 string guitar. Her hair over face and mic. That is so mysterious for me. I'm so glad she chose Chicago's south side to live in. One set of pictures are from Empty Bottle and the ones with her hair in her face are from Hideout.
I was supposed to go to this Kate Bushed themed night but Lykanthea kinda took over, and that Kate Bush thing I could not make it to. Kate Bush kinda makes every artist I have seen possible. I can't believe she came out of an England run by Thatcher....... Oh, wait.....that was the same fucking night. So I did make it. Ideally, I would have caught Natalie Grace Alford as well. That would have felt like I caught two shows. And Natalie Grace is bold with a full, deep powerful voice. She is so different from Lykanthea, loud, booming....as different as a Kate Bush night would allow. I really like her music and I've been missing her a lot. Still, it was not to be and that hurt. I saw a line outside. I almost decided not to even find a parking spot. I don't know what time I arrived but it did not feel like I was late. Everyone in line was early. Fuck it, I'm there, park....get in line and see what happens. I saw Natalie walk from Whistler and go around the corner. I did not say hi yet. There was a purpose to her stride, and I did not want to interrupt. Eventually I do make it inside and to the back patio. I did talk briefly to Natalie, her set was already done. Damn! Its still nice to talk with them casually, they know you went to see them. I saw Scott Cortez there with Lakshmi. I saw Scott, Lakshmi and Natalie in close proximity and naturally assumed they knew each other. Dedicate a night to Kate Bush and a lot of different friends of mine will flock to it.
Fucking hell, that was crazy powerful, like she was harnessing the awesome force of an avalanche! Chelsea Wolfe I am still recovering from. What the hell just happened! I was in a state of awe before she played. I lightly researched her and gathered how late I was in knowing her music. Thalia Hall I've never been to. I always drive by there. It's on 18th street in Pilsen. The main entrance is on a side street and so it was easy to miss it. I parked far on the other side of Ashland because I anticipated little to no parking near the venue.....and its a nice place to walk. Driving by you can't really indulge your sense of wonder. Forgive the quality of the pictures. Even up close you feel far. Chelsea Wolfe......it was like hearing her from the top of a cliff made from a tsunami she is holding with her shear will. It can overwhelm you with a crash but instead she is harnessing and therefore taming that power. I was a deer in a semi's headlights for her entire set. I can't be sure which ones I heard. I'm catching up on her now with youtube. Certain songs now are taking their hold on me. You get into that phase when you can't get enough. That's me with Pain is Beauty with tracks like House of Metal, We Hit A Wall, The Warden. I can go on. Basically I was overwhelmed at the show. Like a bookcase fell on top of me. And I am overwhelmed as I try to catch up. Each song is too awesome to leave behind. What I heard then and what I hear now is beautiful to behold. And in large part I know I am projecting. I believe her concentration of dark culture, how she makes it sleek and even dance-floor worthy like it was the first time you heard this kind of shit but somehow its familiar enough to dance.......yeah, I can dance to this, in the classic early 90's goth style, oh yes. And its not the intended thing to make it for a dance-floor. Chelsea's voice has this authority. Its like I'm hearing the Lady of The fucking Lake or something like that. She was never drowned out at the show. This audience was already familiar with her work. I felt way behind yet that did not bother me. I was too busy just feeling the burning imprint. Sensory overload. If there is something Chelsea uses space to give her music that massive giant size. Atmosphere consumes space to express, and she controls this atmosphere like a comic book heroine. Its never sunny, but you never miss the sun. There's real sweetness in the middle of all that darkness. Each song is massive like a fucking downtown building. Even what seems stripped down actually shrinks you to size. I was late to this party, but happy am I to have finally joined when Chelsea Wolfe released her latest.
Its very rare when I go see well circulated local acts at these bigger venues. Lincoln Hall is easily the biggest venues I've seen them in. This goes for both fucking bands. It felt like we were using something meant for the adults. It kind of feels like a big deal. Empty Bottle, Burlington, Cole's, these are places that pass around local acts. Schubas, Lincoln Hall, even kind of Hideout. I see them as leaning towards bigger known touring bands. It works out well that they both get this gig, Cory plays bass for both Lightfoils and Panda Riot. Damn....if they would have included architecture into this gig that would have been a good third of Chicago's shoegaze scene in one fucking room, (Rebecca sings in that one too).
I made it well into the Panda's set, and I noticed a good crowd for them. I think it was only days ago when Rebecca Scott finished a triathlon. Their latest Northern Automatic Music really is brilliant. It burns and its embers continue to burn and simmer inside, always capable of a wildfire. They got tracks I can't get hear enough. Some of these for a while they would play live before the official release of Northern Auto. Good Night, Rich Kids, Black Pyramid, In The Forest, they were my intangible favorites.
It fascinates me that they started I think doing soundtracks because some of these sound perfect for movie scenes. In The Forest does indeed starts out dark and serious. Black Pyramid is the perfect ending to that cult indy flick. When the resolution as great as the story, that is what you play when you roll the credits. Its actually what they end their shows with. Good Night plays, as a character reveals something within, that carries the story forward. For a while they played all those before there was a CD, LP, the fucking take-home version that modernity has spoiled us with. Its the shoegaze I introduce my friends to. And they have opened for some powerhouse bands. They let me hang with them at their practice spot with Ringo Deathstarr after the gig at Empty Bottle. They have opened for Warpaint and School Of Seven Bells!!!! And then along came Cory on bass and Jose on drums. And its like with Leepu and Pitbull, out comes the same old and better car with the muscle car engine.
Its the rarest thing for me to catch KY on tour. I cannot believe my good fortune for seeing her twice in one year, touring for her latest and The Knife Shift that has the controversial Pearl Of A Girl. Apparently, the track has pissed off more than a few bloody Christians that get mad at the wrong thing. They miss the whole fucking point. Instead of being angry at the one that oppresses, they get made at the oppressed who points it out. The track just brilliantly goes on about how oppressive the major religions especially Christianity are. The video for it has her walking around her decaying St. Louis with other women and a little girl. Its power driven piano rock. Barely now am I reading lyrics. I let the music take its time to arrange itself in my head. This time she toured with Fea. I am less familiar with them. Well....I know them by way of Girl In A Coma. Some from Fea are from that other band. This was my first time seeing them and I came home a fan as well, and I feel grateful to them for bringing Ms Kristeen with them. And for a while that reassured me that KY would see a larger audience as a result. The churning mosh pit engine that is Fea brought with them KY, a good disciplined balance to their punk abrasion. I was in the pit and I was hopeful I was going to see these faces later.....the fans of Fea....well, truth be told, for a while I was under the mistaken impression that Ms Kristeen had already performed. That kinda hurt and then I see her near the merch table, and I finally buy the shirt from her. I can hear Fea since the stairs. At that moment I assumed her set was over. There was no anticipation that I could read on her face in those few seconds in seeing her as I buy this fucking shirt with her name on it. And then I withdrew and followed the storm that was Fea.
